Self-Love

February 14, 2020

Valentine’s Day is a celebration of love and its little quirks, its everyday joys. However, much of Valentine’s Day is focused on romantic love, when love bears so many more facets and relationship types.

While we can’t do justice to the whole spectrum that is love here, this year, let’s extend Valentine’s Day into a celebration of love between family members, between friends, and most importantly, between you and yourself.

Self-love doesn’t mean narcissism or selfishness. It is the pursuit of a deep understanding of yourself that spans your entire lifetime. It is the nurture of a truthful relationship with yourself that can only improve your relationships with other people.

Self-love is being patient with yourself when you struggle. It is giving yourself space and time to recover, even if it means missing out. It is releasing yourself from unrealistic expectations, especially those you took on in childhood that no longer serve you. It is pampering yourself as you would a loved one.

Self-love is pushing yourself to do the right thing, even when it’s hard. It’s forgiving yourself when you make a mistake. It is holding yourself accountable to your own growth. It is letting go of what you cannot control.

Valentine's day is a celebration of love in many facets and relationship types. Today we want to focus on...

Self-love is contradictory. Self-love is hard. But we can start somewhere.

Here are some tips curated from the Ask & Embla team:

TALK TO A FRIEND

You might think you’re burdening them, but you’re really not. What you are doing is showing that you trust them, and letting them love you. And that’s what friends are for. Let love in.

CANCEL PLANS THAT DON'T SERVE YOU.

This could be a dinner date, or business meeting. It’s okay to take space for yourself. It’s strong and brave to not show up when your mental health needs tending to. You’re not not showing up. You’re showing up for yourself.

MAKE PLANS THAT DO.

A new haircut? Meals with trusted friends? Contacting potential therapists? Finally letting yourself sleep in? What’s the most loving thing you can do for yourself right now? Do it.

CELEBRATE YOURSELF.

Make a list of awesome things about you. Eat something yummy. Gift yourself something special for making it through. Throw a party. Have cake. You deserve it.